Unexplained.

Maybe I should save it. It is so soft. But it will stay with the rest of the hair that is buried in the cemetery. Has anyone else ever been born in a cemetery? Why are there so many killed flowers? I don’t think flowers are going to hide this dirt. Water would be useful.

Water was useful, but I still look ridiculous. Growing new baby feathers, my sweet undisciplined beautiful battle wounds.

an actual email from the life of Kelsey Bond

and yes...everything makes sense to me :) .


Dear Future God,

Thank you for a wonderful morning.

Yes, let's go to the Learning Fairy this weekend.

Sincerely,
a mere human.

A Weekend with Kelsey

I know you are supposed to write about actual things that happen, but I find that when I write what happened I always fail to have the reader engaged in the correct emotion. And I find it boring. That being said, I do have lots to work with from my real life. This weekends summary:

Friday morning I met a prisoner at clinic 2A. (Clinic 2A is the transplant clinic I frequent for my monthly blood letting. Clinic 2A is always entertaining. Eventually I will have an entire books worth of Clinic 2A one liners.)

Friday mid-morning I was told I pack too much for a weekend trip (I packed a small duffel bag). I was told to pack less than a fanny pack. I re-packed. (Just so you know, I was packing for a day at a festival, a night at a show, and a morning at church. yeah, a fanny pack. I succeeded. I'm awesome.)

Betty Crocker watch out! I baked chocolate chip cookie bars Friday afternoon for the car ride.

Friday evening, apparently the rumor had spread of my newly achieved champion status because as my boyfriend and I entered Wisconsin we were greeted by a giant fanfare of fireworks right over the highway! It wasn't at all distracting or dangerous. 

Friday night, I was going to "couch surf" for the first time. (Don't be confused, this is different than sleeping on a friend's couch. Mostly because if we were staying at a friend's house my friend would have been there to greet us when we arrived.) Instead when we arrived (right on time I  might add) we were without a bed. So after walking back to the car via the trail that was over a pile of tomatoes, along a row of old school desks, and pass an abandoned giant street light that was stuck somewhere between wanting cars to clear the intersection and letting people turn left, we found are way down the road to a small bar. Well, we were hoping it was a bar. There wasn't really a clear entrance. So, we went to the only visible door, a white door that could have easily been placed on any house in all the middle class suburbs of America. Yay, it opened! Yay, there were people! Seven to be precise. Seven drunk strangers who all simultaneously turned to stare...which, of course, I took as a more than welcome greeting and pulled a chair out at the bar. I order a Bud light. One of my three options: Budweiser, Bud light, Miller light. Turns out they only took cash. So, I abandoned my boyfriend with the seven strangers still staring and went back to the car to get my cash. When I returned, my boyfriend had mustered the courage to break the silence and we were suddenly one of the gang! Just kidding. We drank our beer quickly and left an hour later to hope our couch surfing hosts were home. 

Still Friday Night. Well they were kind of home. Turned out it was an open door policy. We got a hold of one of the residents via phone who informed us our mattress was in the first room to the left. Well, the smell of the place really summarizes everything. You know that college house smell of a kitchen that hasn't been cleaned in a few years and the random saved furniture from the garbage scattered around. You know when the furniture really smells, but you think you got a great deal so your brain somehow manages to tell you there is no smell. Well at this point I was tired and I did not care. It was free and I had no money to spend. So I unrolled my sleeping bag and changed into pajamas. Before sleep, I needed to use the bathroom. Why I didn't go at the random scary seven drunk stranger neighborhood bar, I do not know! On my way to the bathroom I met Johnny, the black cat. Of course, just what this experience needs. A black cat. Well the bathroom sink didn't have a faucet, it had a hose that ran to the stand alone tub and the toilet, well I would have preferred a whole in the ground in rural China. So with unbrushed teeth and the fear of hepatitis I went to sleep with the comfort of a strangers black cat. 

Well that was Friday. 

Fool Proof!

First there was a man who lived his life:

“Good news!

Great news!

The poor are poorer!”

“Come quick!

Buy fast!

The price can’t get any lower!”

“There is blood in the streets

And blood in the water

But my theory states our money will make us all live longer!”

“So buy fast!

And buy lots!”

“We’ll own the homes and the stores!

Oh, the interest we will score!”

"Rivers, ravines, a caynon, or a stream
I promise you,
there isn't a cashflow I can't see!"

"So start small or build big,
this cash flow shore line is the hot gig!"

“Good news!
Great news!
The poor can’t get any poorer!”

Some years later…

“Welcome to heaven!

There is good news!

Great news!

The poor are poorer!

I’ve bought all I could.”

“You look confused….

The egg and then the chicken or the chicken and then the egg?

I created you or you created me?

Don’t worry about those puzzlers because with this theory you will win!

I’m buying all the homes and I’ll own all the stores!”

“You may have died sick,

lost your blood in the street,

but don’t worry the poor can’t get any poorer,

the poor can’t bleed anymore!

One day you’ll be well!

This theory is for all”

And there was still a man,

a sick dead thirsty man,

who is now in heaven:

“But God, there is blood in my water.”

God didn’t turn around.

God didn’t even blink.

God gave an extra yell,

“You fool!

How do you not understand!

The theory just takes time, it trickles down soon!”

First there was a God:

“Good news!

Great news!

The poor are poorer!”

The pain.

Dear God, The pain is spreading.

There is water in my eyes.

The water is very still, God.

Even the birds do not fly.

I cannot see my reflection.

It is mud I feel instead.

Dear God, The pain is strong.

It is burning somewhere far.

I cannot find The pain, God.

The pain is so strong.

Will the heavens hear my cry?

Is it past the brightest star?

Dear God, my cries are deafening.

Dear God, please look down.